*WARNING: This blog is intended for a mature audience. Its contents may include adult situations, violence and sensitive issues that some people might find disturbing. Please read at your own discretion.

1 July 2013

A Pair of Brown Eyes: Chapter 04


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That Sunday Claire's heart was as bright as the morning itself. She had arranged with Ethel and the children to an outing to the beach, and she was excited because it had been years since she had last gone picnicking. She decided she would walk, and as she rejoiced in the sunrays caressing her face, her mind began to wander about all the things that had happened to her the last two weeks she had been working for Dr. Stuart. She had a job, -a real job-, patients were beginning to trust her, and for the first time in her life she felt needed. It was strange that people were actually seeking someone as undeserving as herself, she just hoped they wouldn't get disappointed in her in the end.

As for Dr. Stuart, she didn't know what to make of him yet. Undoubtedly, of all the men she had met in her life, he had been the one to treat her the gentlest, but then again, what did she know? It could perfectly mean that in this country, men's approaches were different when they wanted to be in a woman's good graces; she only knew that his kindness made her weary, and most probably his attitude towards her would change the minute she made her first mistake.

Claire tried to shake off her thoughts, and concentrate on the exciting day ahead of her.

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She arrived to the beach shortly afterwards, where her friends were already waiting for her. She waved her hand as she approached them. Together they took the task of preparing everything that was needed for their meal. Ethel spread a checkered tablecloth on the sand while Claire attended to the food. 

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When they were done, the four of them sat to enjoy their repast. Everything was delicious, and the soft sea breeze made it all taste even better. Claire thought that this moment was perfect.

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And afterwards, the two adults entertained the girls for a while. Caroline wanted to show Claire a new trick she had just learned, and Claire was too eager to oblige; she actually enjoyed spending time with the children. Eventually, Caroline and Becky went to play by themselves, while Claire and Ethel sat to listen to the waves.

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Ethel broke the peaceful silence after a while, "I hope you can forgive me for how I behaved the other day. Truly, I didn't want to make you feel uneasy. I was just so happy to see you again that I got a little carried away, I guess. I won't push you any further, I promise. But, Claire," she stiffened, ever so slightly. "Would you consider confiding in me if you ever want to talk? About anything?"

Claire was deeply touched by Ethel's offer and for a moment she was tempted to tell her everything. She was sure she could trust her and perhaps she wouldn't judge her too harshly, but in the end she thought against it. What she had done was wrong, and it only proved that she was weak and selfish; besides, trusting people was not an option for her, she knew very well what the consequences might be. Claire hoped that Eliza was doing well back in England, she knew that if something happened to her it would be no one's fault but her own. "Thank you." That's all that Claire answered.

"Do you remember how we met?" Ethel asked while dreamily gazing at the horizon, apparently unaware of Claire's inner turmoil.

Claire's mood lightened at those good old memories. "Oh, yes, it was on a picnic, just like today. I think it's the only time I've seen you at a loss for words." Both women laughed.

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That blonde sitting by herself on the bench must be the new girl Claire had been hearing about. She debated whether to approach her or not, but, since the annual picnic was meant to be a social gathering to get girls to know their fellow students for the year, she finally decided to go ahead and introduce herself.

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"Hello, I'm Claire. You must be the new student. Is it true you've come all the way from North America?" she asked her, and noticed how she slightly raised her head to look at her.

"I'm Ethel." And accompanied her answer with a nodding of her head.

"May I sit here with you for a while?"

Ethel shrugged her shoulders. "If you want to..."

Claire sat in silence in the space Ethel had left for her at her right. The girl didn't seem to notice her at all. After a while, she spoke again. "You must miss your home"

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Ethel appeared to be lost in her thoughts again, but answered anyway. "Yes. My brother." She sighed. "He's the one to take care of me since our father passed away, but now he thinks I'm old enough to travel abroad and be spending some time by myself in Europe. He says it's good for my education."

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"Andrew, that's my brother..." Ethel continued, her initial shyness completely forgotten, "he's going to be a doctor, you know? And he's promised me that if I don't like it here, I don't have to come back next year."

Claire was amused by her new friend's sudden change of attitude. "I'm sure you'll like it here. Our teachers are always nice and we have much fun learning all sorts of things."

The girls got interrupted as they were summoned to join the other girls and eat their lunch.

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They decided to sit together in one of the blankets that had been arranged on the grass, full of fresh food, milk and sweets. After finishing their meal the girls were advised to remain seated under the trees for a while to prevent the sun from making them dizzy. Claire and Ethel took the opportunity to resume their earlier conversation.

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"Do you have any favourite subject, Ethel? For me, it's piano lessons. I love playing the piano the best. One day I'm going to write the music for a ballet. It will be a fairy tale, with a haunted princess, kept in a hideous dungeon by her evil step-mother, and one day a handsome prince will come to rescue her and they will marry." Both girls shared a glance and giggled at the prospect of such a beautiful tale. When their laughing subsided, Claire asked Ethel. "Do you want to go playing with the others?

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Ethel's demeanour grew somber again. "I think it's them that don't want to play with me! They were making fun of my accent before you arrived. They say I can't speak proper English."

"If by "them" you mean Helen," Claire said, pointing with her head to a green-eyed girl sitting behind them, "she is not that bad. Give her some time to get accostumed to you. She's a nice girl once you get to know her." She stood up. "Well, at least you'll want to play with me, won't you?" Ethel nodded cheerfully.

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And as they played hide and seek, they both agreed they would be best friends forever.

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"You were always so fun and imaginative. You always had all of us transfixed with your music or your story-telling. Even the older girls would stop their activities to listen to you while you played."

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Claire gave Ethel a warm and thankful smile. She wondered where that girl had gone to; now that she thought about her, she seemed like a different person altogether. She was glad, at least, that her twelve-year-old self was still alive in someone's memories.

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Claire's first month in Canada was coming to an end, and Claire felt ecstatic. Everything in her new life was going great. But then, as the excitement for novelty gradually subsided... that's when her nightmares began.



Chapter 05Chapter 03 

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Author's note: If you'll allow me, this chapter is dedicated to my beta-reader and critic, because without him there wouldn't even be a Marsar to begin with.

32 comments:

  1. It was nice seeing into Claire's past, though we still know nothing about her secrets.
    I'm glad she does have a supportive friend like thel, though she's still afraid t confide in her. Whatever Claire did, I hope Ethel will still be her friend if it ever comes to light.

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    1. I'm sorry I'm keeping Claire so mysterious; in the next few chapters I'll disclose some things about her "secrets", I promise. I meant to do it in this chapter, but in the end I changed my mind.

      Claire is both afraid and ashamed of what she has done, so she's not very likely to confide in anyone, not even Ethel, at least not yet.

      Thanks for your comment!

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  2. A nice afternoon visit with Claire and her friends, I enjoyed that so much, loved the pictures too. It was great seeing how Claire met Ethel. I hope as she finds her way around the new town, they can regain their closeness and Claire can learn to trust her enough to open up about the past she's running away from.

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    1. Awww, thanks Valpre.

      I hope too that Claire and Ethel can regain their closeness, but I'm afraid Claire has yet a long path to walk before she is able to trust anyone.

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  3. I had this open much earlier, but then my computer started making me mad, then my game, then the pics, then getting the chapter out... now I've calmed down. :)

    What a delightful chapter! It was neat to see them at a younger age, also giving us another piece of the puzzle that is Claire.

    Kind of sad how she can't pull that 12 year old child back. She's buried her deep I guess.

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    1. Don't worry, I hope everything is better now :-) (believe me, I know the feeling very well).

      I'm glad you found the chapter delightful (love the word, by the way). There are many pieces of the puzzle yet to be known, and I liked the idea of showing how her 12-year-old self was, to understand her a little better.

      Yes, it is very sad (heartbreaking, even) that she has that girl so buried within herself.

      Thank you for reading!

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  4. It seems to be exciting for Claire to be in such a new situation and to have a good job at that...Claire and Ethel seem to make great friends...I don't know what else to say D: you've ended it on a cliffhanger and now I can't wait to read the next one...but then I find out the next one is not out yet...and now I has a sad.

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    1. Awww, sorry, I didn't mean to make you sad :-(, I'm just learning how to build suspense, I guess ;-). I'll try to have next chapter out by the beginning of next week, but I can't promise anything, though.

      Yes, Claire and Ethel have been, and hopefully will be, the best of friends. And yes, her new job is doing her good. Let's hope everything will turn out fine for Claire in the end.

      Thanks for reading!

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  5. Hi Marsar just started reading. :) You have very pretty pictures and the costumes are gorgeous! I like the friendship between Claire and Ethel. There's a bit of tension despite their closeness. I wonder what dark secrets have made Claire grow up so fast...

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    1. Hi, welcome to my blog! :-)

      Claire and Ethel share a nice friendship. Of course, I imagine there's always some ackwardness in seeing someone you haven't seen in years, regardless your previous closeness. That's why there's a bit of tension between them (well, that and some issues Claire has to overcome before she can open up to anyone).

      Thanks for reading and for your nice compliments.

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  6. I like that Claire was able to share that memory with Ethel especially since she's clearly been through bad things since she was twelve. It is so nice that her and Ethel have continued to remain friends. I liked your flashback pictures too, they were such a nice color.

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  7. Yes, I think it was very good for Claire to share those memories with Ethel; they were very meaningful for both of them. Awww, thanks, I gave those pictures a slight sepia toning so they'd look kind of older :-).

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  8. Such beautiful pictures! Claire and Ethel have been friends a really long time. I wonder how Ethel would react if Claire tells her the secret. It must be something that Claire considers to be terrible since she's so afraid to tell her best friend about it.

    She doesn't seem to quite trust Dr. Stuart yet, but maybe she will in time. Whatever happened to her seems to have taken away her trust in people.

    Another great chapter!

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    1. Yes, Claire thinks her secret is something to be ashamed of, that's why she is so afraid of confiding in Ethel.

      She's not very good at trusting people, most particularly men. Maybe Dr. Stuart will make her change her mind ;-).


      Thanks :-D!

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  9. Wow, what happened when she was 17 that would lead her to consider suicide? Or was that just a dream?

    Hmm. That explains Claire's initial reaction to Ms. Connor. Claire seems to intuit that the woman's wound wasn't caused by a farming accident. It sounds as though Claire has been through some abuse in her lifetime. It's sweet, though, that both she and the good doctor are learning things they previously didn't know about the opposite sex.

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    1. You always ask the right questions. Well, it WAS a dream, so its reliability only goes so far -how "far" is that...? Well, you were not expecting me to answer that, right? ;-).

      What's interesting is what Claire makes of those, rather innocuous, wounds. That just speaks volumes of Claire's way of thinking. And what you said about their learning together is so true: I was only thinking about developing their characters, but the fact that there was some parallelism there was lost to me until you pointed that out (that's why I love feedback) :-D.

      Thanks so much for reading, and for commenting (this one was insightful).

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  10. Claire seemed to be a happy child. I am guessing that when she was an adult and things started to get out of her control, she had an illicit affair that ended in pregnancy and her father kept her from school till the baby was born, then shipped it off to a nunnery or something, then went out and killed the guy she was with, who Claire really didn't care for all that much, but it was a weak moment so she had that happen. haha... run on imagination :) It has me guessing on the secret Claire has and why she feels responsible for the troubles she thinks about.

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    1. Claire was a fairly happy child, at least when she was at school. And then... wow, what was all that? LOL Your imagination runs wild, I see. You'll have to read on if you want to know if any of your guesses was correct ;-). She has a really low self-esteem, so she holds herself responsible for a lot of things that weren't her fault at all.

      Thanks for reading and commenting.

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  11. It was nice to see Claire having a good time with Ethel and the kids. Claire was such a cuuuute child :D
    Interesting reflection on how her 12 year old self lives on in someone else's memories...it is sometimes hard to remember yourself at a young age and also interesting to imagine how your friends perceived you as well. Just a random thought. :)

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    1. Claire had such a great time spending some quality time with her friend. And I had much fun too putting this chapter together :-D.

      Oh, a random thought, I love random thoughts! :-D What you said is so true, it's not always easy to know how others perceive you, and in Claire's case, her very self-esteem depends on Ethel still remembering all of her (Claire's) good traits, which she herself has forgotten for so long :-(.

      Thank you for reading and commenting.

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  12. I loved seeing the backstory behind Claire and Ethel's friendship. They are so sweet.

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    1. Oh, yes, they are very sweet.

      Thank you for reading.

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  13. I love the way you go back to the past so we can see how they became friends. I love the look of the pics you did for the past as well. They look so authentic and old lol. Great job.

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    1. As you'll go on reading, you'll see I'm practically addicted to flash-backs LOL. I wanted those pics to feel oldish, and I just thought... sepia! So that's how they turned out. I'm glad you liked them :-D.

      Thanks for reading and commenting.

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  14. The pictures and poses are amazing. It must have been hard work, looking for the right poses, right items... I know I have the hardest time. Haha.

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    1. Awww, thank you so much :-D. It is hard work, but more often than not, a little imagination is all it takes to get pics right ;-).

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  15. This is the best sim story that I have read so far. With sense and it's very entertaining... Love it! You did a great job there! I'm looking forward to reading more.

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  16. This was a beautiful scene -- it was lovely of Claire to approach the foreign solitary girl and make friends with her when they were children -- and it is now lovely of Ethel to approach the foreign solitary woman and offer a renewed gesture of friendship, as a form of gratitude so many years later. It is also an interesting mirroring of stories and the characters.

    But Claire is not so eager to open herself now, like once her best friend Ethel was, is she? Reticent is the word that keeps coming to my mind about Claire's attitudes in her new life.

    It's also good to know that she enjoys her work, and that at least Andrew is being friendly and polite -- that's a whole lot already, it seems, in constrat to Claire's former life and experience with men. Let's hope he is patient and skillful in winning this girl's heart.

    And now, on to her nightmare :(

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    1. Ah, very interesting remark about mirroring scenes, nicely spotted :-). And if I'm to be honest I never made that connection myself until you pointed it out. You had me thinking there...

      Oh, yes, Claire is very reluctant to talk about... whatever it is that she doesn't talk about ;-).

      Even at this early stage, Andrew is a good influence for her.

      Thanks for reading and commenting.

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  17. I'm saddened that Claire doesn't know where that little girl went but I'm glad she has Ethel in her life. Those kinds of friendships should be cherished!

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    1. Agreed! Those friendships are the ones to keep and cherish. That lively girl is unfortunately hidden somewhere in time :-(: I hope Claire can eventually find her again.

      Thanks for reading :-).

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