A Pair of Brown Eyes: Chapter 22

How concentrated Andrew looked while writing those papers! Claire was glad he was working so intently, since it gave her the chance to stare at him without restraint, and revel in what she saw. It was a soothing – yet strangely distracting – vision. A vision which convoluted her mind, but made her feel alive at the same time. As alive as she had never felt. Alive, because she had never been so happy, nor so frightened; nor so afraid to be frigthened; nor so afraid to be... happy!

Claire sighed in defeat. She needed to reach a decision before it was too late. Or was it already too late? She sometimes thought uncertainty was better than knowing the truth. The truth of what he would think of her...

That was right..., what would he think of her? Would he be willing to offer her the support she was so desperately seeking? Or would he judge her as harshly as others had done before him? He was a good man, that much she knew. Good, and caring, and strong, and incredibly good-looking, and... and..., she had to focus! Yes. She decided she could trust Andrew.

But even if he understood... what then? She should never have let things go so far between them. She felt so hopeless! Besides, how much should she actually share with him? Regardless of whether she chose not to tell him the whole truth, he would want to know. He would want to know, and then he would stop caring about her, wouldn't he? Wouldn't he? A bout of despair took an unyielding hold of her heart.

"Hello, you two!" A familiar voice uttered, causing Claire to turn on her heels. She smiled at Ethel, who was coming her way, moving in a cheerful manner. "I've come to bring you some cookies to thank you for taking the girls out the other day," she continued. "I baked them myself, can you believe that?" Claire laughed softly, remembering an old incident involving a red-faced Ethel and a suspiciously foul smell coming from one of their boarding school ovens.

Ethel's body trembled slightly. "I hadn't realised winter was so fast approaching until I left home this morning." And then her lips spread in one of her well-known smirks. "Am I interrupting something?"

"Don't be silly, Ethel." Andrew answered her as he came near them. "What could you possibly be interrupting?", but the sideways glance he cast at Claire told her otherwise. Was he flirting? Annoyed at the interruption? It still amazed her how little she knew about those things. Whatever the case may be, she found it a nice surprise and even a nicer diversion to have Ethel there for a while.

Ethel didn't answer her brother right away, but her mouth did open as if to speak. Claire thought she understood the look she shot her next, but accepted the fact that it no longer mattered whether Ethel should choose to tell Andrew. She would have to tell him herself. Eventually. Soon.

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Today was the day. A new month, a new resolve. She would tell him. That very minute. There was just a single wall separating him from the truth. Not even the oncoming rain would deter her this once. Claire tried to overlook the piercing pain in her stomach by directing her whole attention to the flowered stained glass in front of her. She grabbed her belly one last time and knocked on the door, her knuckles surprisingly firm.

She rushed into the room before Andrew had time to say a word. "There's something I need to tell you."

...

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Author's note: I suppose I should say I'm sorry for feeding you such a short (and belated) update, but... this time I offer no apologies :-P, because there was a reason for it ;-); I hope you liked it, anyway. Also, there's this small detail that..., hmm..., *ahem* *coughs*..., what I mean to say is, are you ready to... *ahem* *coughs*... hate me? What? Did you just answer "yes"? Great! You should be good to go, then :-P.