*WARNING: This blog is intended for a mature audience. Its contents may include adult situations, violence and sensitive issues that some people might find disturbing. Please read at your own discretion.

22 May 2014

A Pair of Brown Eyes: Chapter 20

A-Pair-of-Brown-Eyes-Chapter-20-I

"Did you know, auntie, that Becky had never been on a train before? She must be scared!"

"Oh, is that so?" Andrew asked his eldest niece before Claire had a chance to say anything. "And how many times have you been on a train, Miss Roberts?"

Caroline then giggled, and replied, "Only the one." She looked endearing in her shame at having been found out.

"Now, that's what I call an expert on the matter," her uncle teased her again, making the four of them laugh in amusement at his remark.

A-Pair-of-Brown-Eyes-Chapter-20-II

"Thanks for agreeing to come along with us." Andrew told Claire when the laughter had subsided. "I had promised the girls to take them to their grandmother's cottage for so long, they wouldn't let me be until I'd fulfill my promise. And I don't know what I would have done on my own with these little ones." Andrew gave Claire one of his charming smiles, and added. "Well, of course I would have wanted you to come... regardless."

A-Pair-of-Brown-Eyes-Chapter-20-III

"My pleasure!" was all that Claire could utter, since she still was half distracted by his good looks and the nice little compliment he had paid to her only a moment before.

********************

A-Pair-of-Brown-Eyes-Chapter-20-IV

Claire gave the finishing touches to their impromptu repast. Their drinks would be served in an old service they had salvaged from the cottage, and the berries the children were picking would make for a delicious snack. "You take your tea with no sugar. Isn't that right?"

"You remembered it." Andrew told her, smiling broadly.

"I always remember everything you say," she answered in return, not giving much thought to her words at first, but when the implication of what she had just said dawned on her, she felt her cheeks reddening. "This place is so lovely," she offered, in an attempt to change the subject.

A-Pair-of-Brown-Eyes-Chapter-20-V

"These premises you can see before you have belonged to my mather's family ever since they came from Scotland three generations ago." Andrew took a deep breath. "It pains me to see the hut so dilapidated nowadays, but there's nothing I can do to prevent it. It now belongs to an elderly uncle of mine who hasn't spared a single thought for this place for the last twenty years. My mother wouldn't have liked it." After a pause, he chuckled, his gaze lost somewhere. "Oh, Ethel and I used to enjoy so much spending time here..."

Another paused ensued, but after a while Andrew spoke again. "I remember you once told me you never knew your mother...? And you don't have any brothers or sisters, either?"

A-Pair-of-Brown-Eyes-Chapter-20-VI

"I had... three elder brothers, but none of them reached adulthood; they were all dead by the time I was born. So there was just my father and I." She smirked. "I was his last hope, I guess, but unfortunately for him, I was born of the female sex."

Another silence followed, this time thicker.

"I'm so sorry Claire. I wasn't aware your life had been so lonely." Lonely? Indeed, and that was the best part of it! "I, for one, couldn't be more glad that you turned out to be a woman. And so charming, besides."

Claire smiled self-consciously, still averting his eyes.

He continued talking. "It had never occurred to me before, but you are a very brave woman. You left everything behind, came to live to a foreign country. And judging by what you have just told me, I infer you haven't got much help in your life. Yes, you are very brave, Mrs. Claire Parker, and incredibly beautiful to look at, besides."

A-Pair-of-Brown-Eyes-Chapter-20-VII

Claire touched her head shyly. "Oh, it's just this silly hat I bought. It's not really my style, but..."

"No, Claire." The twinkle in his eyes belied the sudden seriousness of his tone. "Well, that hat is very pretty, if I may say so, and it suits you wonderfully. But what I meant is that you are beautiful."

Charming? Brave? Beautiful? She couldn't be all those things. Or could she? Perhaps she was not the hideous, clumsy and scary little thing she had always been told she was. This man sitting now beside her didn't think she was, and she had come to value his opinion more than anything in the world. What if she was charming, and brave, and beautiful after all?


They hadn't heard that Caroline was presently standing behind them on the bench, so they both started when she blurted out, "auntie Claire... Are you going to marry uncle Andrew?"


"Caroline! What kind of a question is that?" Her uncle admonished her. 

Claire, for her part, was no longer paying any attention to their conversation. Andrew might have been casting a lopsided glance towards her, but since she had instinctively turned her back to him, she couldn't be sure. Her mind was in a whirlwind; her mind reeled; her mind went back to the dark and scary place she thought she had banished forever from her consciousness.

The beautiful spell was broken. Everything shattered into pieces, and all because of an innocent question posed by a five-year-old.  Marrying him! As if that was even possible! The thought of it thrilled her as much as it disturbed her. 

********************


Claire fidgeted with her hat. She was very grateful to Andrew for having accompanied her to her lodging after having taken the girls home, but now she didn't quite know what was expected of her, or rather, she didn't know what he intended to do.


All her doubts were settled by what he did next, however. He just approached her, and in one swift but smooth movement, encircled her waist, all the while keeping his gaze fixed on her. "I hope the three of us have not imposed on you too much today. Has it been very boring for you? I know I have thouroughly enjoyed our little trip."

Claire couldn't take her eyes off him, either. He looked more handsome each day. "I've loved every minute of it," she found herself saying.

He seemed to be very pleased with her answer, because he gave her a short smile before leaning over her. He was now so dangerously close to her. Claire's heart began beating faster. No! Her scars! She had to remember her scars. Her scars and what they meant. They were telling her not to go any further. Too bad her heart was telling her a different story. She shouldn't be listening to the latter's calling; she was getting careless and she couldn't afford that.


"Please, dont!" she finally managed to cry out, but her words sounded feeble even in her own ears. He wouldn't listen to her. He just leaned in closer and closer... "No, stop it!" she tried a second time. "I have something... to tell you." That's right, she would tell him, and the matter would be settled forever. But still he wouldn't listen. She could now feel his breath tickling her cheeks. Not so much menacing as he was tantalising. What was for her to tell him, anyway?

"I said stop it!" Claire jerked free from his grasp at last, much more violently than she had intended. What had possessed her to act in that way? A sudden chill ran down her spine, but for once she wasn't afraid of what he might do afterwards; she was much too occupied in being startled by her own reaction.


Andrew's laboured breathing as he stepped backwards was unnerving, and the expression featured across his face was impossible for Claire to read. "Don't worry, madam." His lips were tightly pursed and his jaw trembled slightly when he spoke next. "I won't touch you again, seeing that it's so disgusting to you!" Unfathomable as his face was, the sour scorn in his voice was all too evident.

With that, he gave her a final glance and turned to leave. She had angered him, hadn't she? Perhaps it was for the best. Yes, she would let him go and that would be the end of it. No explanation would be needed if he stopped liking her.

"No, wait!" Claire cried after him, in spite of herself. She didn't want him to go. "I didn't mean it... that way." Claire was mortified for having been the cause of such... pain? "I..."

Andrew must have sensed her discomfort, because his features softened at last. After letting out a heavy sigh, he walked towards her once more.


"Do you... miss him that much?" He simply said, his voice barely above a whisper.

Did Claire miss him? She surely did! As one would miss having a massive stroke! "I duly miss him." Claire felt a bitter pride in acknowledging her cleverness at answering his question. The rage which was welling up inside her of late was so new to her, she was still learning to embrace that powerful feeling.

"I hope my niece didn't upset you a while ago. Don't take her words at heart," Andrew went on, apparently unaffected by her ambiguity. "I'm fully aware you're not to be rushed. Be reassured of that. However..." Claire didn't like how that word sounded. However... Or rather, she liked it far too much. Too much for her own good.

"However," he went on. "I can't deny I..." She could tell he was struggling with his words. "I hold you in great esteem. I'm in earnest, Claire. And if it weren't for the respect which is due to your weeds, I'd speak more openly."

Oh, Andrew! What was she doing to him? And what was he doing to her? How could it possibly be that those very words which made her love him all the more were the same ones drawing him apart from her? She would have thrown into his arms and stay there forever. She did nothing of the sort, of course. Nothing but stare blankly into space and curse her fate. "Thank you," was all that she managed to say. Two words that very poorly conveyed all the meaning she poured over them.

 But this had to end. She had to tell him it couldn't be.



It was then that he drew near her once more, pulling them both against the wall. "Don't be afraid of me." No, she was not afraid of him. She was done being afraid. Claire was barely aware of the hat being dropped from her grasp. Off it went, dancing swiftly in the air, until it landed on the floor by their feet. She was only aware that Andrew was kissing her. 

She would tell him... some... other... time...





A-Pair-of-Brown-Eyes-Chapter-21Pair-Brown-Eyes-chapter-19

34 comments:

  1. I'm glad to see her saying to herself that she is not afraid of him, that she will tell him about herself. It is a start, even if she hasn't quite reached the point of acting on those thoughts.
    Also, she has some quite sassy little thoughts too. :D Bit of a spit-fire in the making!
    Andrew is being so careful, but it must be so hard for him to have to tread lightly about letting on to his feelings. And then to have such a harsh rejection when he was showing such tenderness, I can understand his reaction. I'm glad he was willing to come back to her though. Keep at her, Andrew! You've come so far already! <3

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hehe. I'm not sure I'd go as far as calling her "sassy", but yes, that's what she must have seemed to Andrew ;-). I'm glad you're with Andrew on this one, because I'm afraid I'm not quite finished with him yet ;-).

      And as usual, thank you so much for reading and commenting.

      Delete
  2. yay update day!!! :D

    Oh Claire, every time I see her I just want to hug her. :( Andrew...the day he learns the truth of what she's been through. I don't see him taking it well. Not angry at her, but angry for her, for what she was put through. He's such a sweetheart, and she deserves that. She's scared, not of him but of what he makes her feel. She knows it's wrong, since I get the feeling she's not 'completely' free of that man, but at the same time it's so good for her. To see what it's like to be loved and cherished. When I see them getting close like this, I get happy until I remember the opening of this story. :( I can only hope that after she runs off, Andrew chases and and demands answers.

    Excellent as always.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yay, glad to see you happy! :-D

      I have nothing to add to your comment without getting "spoilery", so I'll just leave you to your (sensible) thoughts ;-P.

      Thanks so much for your continual support :-D.

      Delete
  3. Estaba deseando nuevo capítulo, y estoy tentada de ponerme a leerlo en inglés, sin embargo prefiero esperar a leerlo bien traducido para poder disfrutarlo en condiciones.
    Un beso guapa!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Enseguida lo tendré traducido, no te preocupes :-D. Pero bueno, anímate a leerlo en inglés, si quieres... ;-)

      ¡Besitos!

      Delete
  4. Mi inglés está bastante oxidado, pero he leído el capítulo y después lo he hecho otra vez con el traductor que, ¡por Dios, que traductor tan malo jajaja! Me ha gustado la atracción que hay entre Claire y Andrew, la situación que se produce por la reticencia de ella a dejarse llevar por sus sentimientos y el desconcierto de él.
    Un beso

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. ¡Ay, no! No uses el traductor (supongo que te refieres al de Google), que es un espanto, jeje. Me alegra que te hayas animado a leer en inglés, pero no te preocupes, que lo tendré traducido en unos días (a mediados de la semana que viene, o así), y creo que se me da un poquitín mejor que a los robots... ;-)

      ¡Besitos!

      Delete
  5. Ah, I need to be better at keeping an eye on your updates! But yay, more story! It always makes me so happy to see more of this :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Don't worry. And it makes ME happy to see you so :-D.

      Thanks for reading.

      Delete
  6. I liked their outing very much. It's a pity that Caroline's innocent questions triggered bad memories for Claire.

    That ending gave me butterflies. Very happy she's wants to open up to him.

    Lovely everything as always!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hehe, children are the best when it comes to asking the most uncomfortable questions ;-).

      And Claire is being more forward of late.

      Thanks for reading and for your words.

      Delete
  7. Loved this chapter. I'm glad Andrew can understand so much even if his thinking is wrong, if that made any sense. If he knew why she is like that!! But then again, even not knowing he understands she is very vulnerable.
    Still, the way he can't control himself from kissing her... Ha! I love him.
    Great chapter.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It does make sense. Andrew is sensitive enough to understand there's something that's not quite right, even if he can't pinpoint exactly what that "something" is.

      I'm glad you love him <3.

      Thanks for reading.

      Delete
  8. heehee, I loved her saying that she remembered *everything* he says. Give them a few years, he'll be wishing that wasn't the case!

    Oh Andrew. I dare say her loathing is more directed at herself, most certainly not at him :( If only she *could* tell him why she needs to keep her distance, so he could understand what he was dealing with, and maybe help her understand that that's not how things need to be.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hehe, so true! I think my guy would agree with you, LOL.

      Claire definitely has a lot of demons she has to fight yet. She's not even anywhere near accepting certain things (or feelings), let alone sharing them with another human being :-(.

      Thanks for reading.

      Delete
  9. It was nice to see Claire have some fun. Andrew sometimes does get a little pushy though, huh? ;) ... I am afraid her waiting to say anything will be a perpetual wait. She is brave to run from where she was. She is afraid to let anyone know. I really wish she would confide in someone. Given the time though, other than one man being killed, I don't know what else she can do since she is a property and not a worthy being to that other man.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Andrew can be a *little* too pushy, that's right: he's so smitten, he can't help himself ;-). As for the other things you mentioned... hmm... only time will tell! ;-P.

      Thank you for reading.

      Delete
  10. I love the expression on Claire's face when Caroline mentioned marriage. Argh! It was going so well then, too. Claire was finally believing she could be charming, brave and beautiful, at least in Andrew's eyes. Then it all fell apart. Thank goodness Claire didn't let Andrew leave thinking she found him disgusting when it's so far from the truth. You scared me for a minute there! Yay, Andrew, for making a move. It seems he said what she needed to hear ... that she didn't need to be afraid of him. :D

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Argh! Children and their inappropriate (even if brutally honest) questions, hehe. No, Andrew is not going to give up so easily, but he can't deny this "misterious" woman is starting to frustrate (and puzzle) him a little too much ;-). Let's hope he has it in him to be even more patient.

      Thanks for reading :-D.

      Delete
  11. Claire's facial expressions are brilliant! Funny, I don't find Andrew to be pushy at all. To the contrary, I think he's been extremely patient with Claire, especially as he couldn't possibly know how deep those troubled waters really are ...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hehe, so good you don't find Andrew to be pushy. It all depends on whose POV you take, I'd say. And neither would I call him pushy myself so much as I would call him "insanely in love with a woman he can't quite grasp" ;-).

      Thanks for reading :-D.

      Delete
  12. Ermagerd dem scars XD So many though! I think that Claire has the right to feel shy/embarrassed/insecure about them. They aren't the type of thing you'd want to show to a man.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh, yes, poor thing. She has every right to feel bad about them :-(.

      Thanks for reading!

      Delete
  13. Thank god she told him to come back. LOL. Poor Claire, going through such emotional turmoil! I hope that someday she can separate her heart's feelings from the physical scars she has. Andrew would be so good for her. I like that she's not as scared to have tea with him as she was before. XD I also like the progress she has made with the kissing, LOL, that she's learned he's not someone she should be afraid of. Poor Andrew too, thinking that Claire told him to stop because she thought he was disgusting. I don't blame him one bit, since he can see she does like him, but to him it probably looks like she only likes him sometimes, since she acts so wierd other days. LOL. I love Claire's expressions when her eyes went huge out of shock. XD

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. As usual, you've captured the whole chapter so wonderfully, I have very little to add, except to thank you for showing me I'm on the right track :-).

      And thanks for reading, of course.

      Delete
  14. The look on Claire's face when Caroline asked if they were going to get married was hysterical! Poor thing didn't know what she was asking with that question. Children are so innocent. :)

    I'm so sad!!! I'm caught up to the most recent chapter. :( I have to say that this was so enjoyable to sit and read all the way through. I cannot tell you how much I enjoy reading this story. You have such a natural gift for writing! I can't wait to read more chapters! :D

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Children are usually the only ones who dare ask the most important questions in life, and even do so without a flinch. Poor Claire... she was so shocked to be asked that...

      Awww, thank you so much for reading, and for all the nice little comments you've left me along the way. You just put a huge smile on my face :-D.

      And, hopefully, chapter 21 will be ready by the end of next week. I can't make any promises, though ;-).

      Delete
  15. My goodness! I was all up in knots while reading these past few chapters! Their relationship is getting so real for them both, yet so dangerous too! I doubt that Andrew would have the kind of negative reaction to her scars that she fears. He'll be furious, but not at her.
    Dear heavens, what's going to happen next?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hehe, I'll take that as a compliment ;-). Andrew is more likely to get furious at some OTHER person... is that what you mean? ;-) Yes, I know you do, and... well... I tend to agree with you.

      Thanks for reading.

      Delete
  16. That ending! =D
    The tension and secrecy...I can't with these two. I can sympathize with both point of views, which as a reader can be so frustrating with Claire constantly (and rightfully) questioning the true intentions of men and Andrew (un)patiently waiting for the woman he's so enamored with to show some reciprocity, but I guess at this point Andrew knows it's not her style to be forward. Great chapter!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Frustrating, is it? Well, it was meant to be, so... ;-) And just imagine how frustrating it must be for both Claire and Andrew...

      Thanks for reading, and for the compliment.

      Delete
  17. Oooh you know I thought things were going the wrong direction there! Andrew did get a little pushy for a moment but he could no longer resist! It's good to see that Claire is willing to trust him, at least for now. Claire is like...like a turtle! I don't mean that in a bad way (I like Turtles!) just that she's ready to retreat into her shell in a moment's notice, Claire has the turtle beat on looks though.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hehe, Andrew got a little pushy, but, hey, I never said he was a patient man ;-).

      Claire, a turtle... I like the comparison! :-) It's very apt. She might be acting a little more bravily, but she's ready to chicken out any moment and get back to her shell: her reactions are always so unpredictable! :-(

      Thank you for reading.

      Delete